Taking My Life Back
by Redstang1998
Summary: Written from Jack’s perspective in the beginning leading up to the present, which is where we learn more about Jacks’ past and what his future will bring. Includes new characters, one in particular from his past who has always held is heart and soul. For
1. Chapter 1 through 3

Title: Taking My Life Back

Author: Redstang1998

Summary: Written from Jack's perspective in the beginning leading up to the present, which is where we learn more about Jacks' past and what his future will bring. Includes new characters, one in particular from his past who has always held is heart and soul. Forewarning: NOT J/I As usual JJ owns his characters.

Rating: PG-14 (Language/Adult Situations)

Chapter 1

May 28, that was the day that changed everything for Sydney and myself. I was at APO digging myself out of stacks of paperwork when I received the call that she and Vaughn were in a car accident. Apparently they were going up to Santa Barbara for the weekend. A car came out of nowhere hitting them on Vaughn's side. That day, I almost lost Sydney…again. The impact caused her to hit her head on the passenger side window. Swelling of the brain is what the doctor told me was our biggest concern. After it goes down we'd know if there was any brain damage. When she was airlifted to the APO infirmary. Looking at her, she looked like she was sleeping. There was only a small bruise on the right side of her head. Other than that, she looked peaceful.

It was three days before the swelling went down, the doctor reported that there was no damage to her brain or nervous system. We just need to wait until her body allowed her to wake up on it's own.

Four days went by before she woke.

Four days and nights I spent by her side, praying for the first time in decades.

Four days and nights I didn't sleep.

Four days and nights I felt totally alone and helpless…again.

Finally, she woke up on a Friday. Confused and scared. I sat next to her on the bed, holding her hand as she asked question after question.

_Vaughn, is he ok? _

I had to break it to her that he was abducted at the scene before our people arrived. She just looked at me, then shut her eyes.

_Daddy, he said his name wasn't Michael Vaughn._

I didn't know what to say. I told her to relax and we'd figure it all out once she was better. That's when she started to cry. I always hated it when she cried. I felt so helpless, like there's nothing could do to take her pain away. I just sat there holding her while she cried in my arms.

It wasn't a couple of minutes after that the doctor came in. The same woman, that had me doing those stupid exercises to get me through the radiation poisoning. I'll never forget the conversation we had next. Our lives would be forever changed.

Sydney, I have some things that I would like to discuss with you. Would you like to discuss this now or later?

Ummm, now is ok I guess.

Sydney, I'll go if you want to talk to the doctor in private.

No dad, please stay.

So I just sat there still on the bed next to her holding her hand. She smiled at me.

Ok Miss Bristow, I have two pieces of news for you. First of all, the injuries you sustained from the accident are healing well, you should make a full recovery in 3-4 weeks.

_That's good, when can I go home._

_Tomorrow morning, but Miss. Bristow, there's one more thing. Were you aware that you're pregnant?_

Chapter 2

_Tomorrow morning, but Miss. Bristow, there's one more thing. Were you aware that you are pregnant?_

_Excuse me? Did you say pregnant?_

Yes, approximately 13 weeks. I'll leave the two of you alone, to talk. Oh, I've ordered an ultrasound to make sure that everything is ok with both you and the baby. The tech should be in shortly.

After the doctor left, I'm really not sure what came over me but I took both Sydney's hands in mine and kissed them. I had a feeling of fear, but at the same time happiness.

_So I guess that means I'm going to be a grandpa?_ She smiled at me again. I think this was sinking in for her that she was going to be a mother.

_Yes, I guess you are. So what do I do now? _

You rest, get better and take care of the both of you.

At that point the Ultrasound tech came in. She asked if I wanted to stay, Sydney answered that one for me by not letting my hand go. During the ultrasound it hit me. That little life was our future. Sydney's future. He or she was going to bring happiness back into our lives. That's when I decided that I wasn't going to let Vaughn's betrayal of my daughter destroy her like Irina's did to me. I wasn't going to allow history to repeat itself.

So here we are three months later. Sydney moved in with me into my 3 bedroom apartment. It's nice having her around. Things have actually changed drastically. I'm slowly getting used to the color that she's added to the place. My black leather sofa was the first thing she got rid of, slowly followed by everything else. Apparently she didn't like my boring lifestyle. Change is good, I never complained.

I've now been the Director at APO now since Arvin got himself landed in jail, yet again. This new position has its challenges, namely Director Chase. I manage to give her just enough info to keep her off my back. She's like a bad case of poison ivy that won't go away. The only thing she wants is Irina Derevko to add to her trophy case. Personally and professionally, it's over between she and I. We've both agreed to move on. It's too dangerous to even try to be together and with Chase on her witch-hunt, I don't want her to get caught. Hell, I don't want to go back to solitary either. I've lost too much to give up my chances to make things good with Sydney. So for the time being, Irina and I have agreed to move on. If we were truly meant to be together we would be, maybe of not now, in the next life.

_Dad! What are you thinking about? You're like in your own little world._

_Sorry, I was just thinking. So did anything exciting happen today at work? I got stuck in that meeting with Chase. She's relentless. _

_Actually, things were pretty quite today. I can't wait to get back into the field. Desk work is rather boring. I still can't believe that Dixon and Chase are together._

_Yeah, tell me about it. She scares me mort than your mother._ We both chuckled. Chase was scarier than Irina. A woman on a mission. A woman that I've learned to get out of her way. I'm not sure what Dixon sees in her. Really don't want to think about it either.

_So, dad. When I was cleaning out the other bedroom, I found an old trunk. It's hug…e and locked…so what's in the thing that's so important that you keep it locked?_

_Uhh, stuff._

_Yeah, I figured as much dad, what kind of stuff?_

I just looked at her. I guess it was time to tell all about about dear old dad's past.

Sydney, that trunk has everything of what's left of my past. The part of my past that didn't include your mother.

POSTED (1-2) 9-2-05

Chapter 3

I opened the trunk with the keys that dad gave me. The trunk was topped off with photos, journals, newspaper clippings, and all kind of things.

_Sydney, before I tell you anything I need you to promise me something._

_Sure dad._

_Please promise me that you won't hate me for what I'm about to show you._

_Oh God, what is it? Please tell me that you didn't kill someone._

_No Sydney, you and I...we are both dead to my family. Compliments of our old friends at SD-6 and the CIA._ I handed her a newspaper clipping from an Ontario paper. The paper that my family got.

London, Ontario, Canada

Father and Daughter killed in airplane crash off coast of Costa Maya.

June 17, 1992, Jonathan Donahue Bristow (Jack), age 42 and daughter Sydney Anne Bristow age 17 were both killed in an airplane crash off the coast of Costa Maya. Jonathan Bristow was employed with Jennings Aerospace for the past 13 months. He was on a business trip to Mexico, accompanied by his daughter Sydney when the plan went down. The plane and it's 4 passengers where never found. Bad weather was to blame for the downed plane.

_We're dead? Well, I guess that explains why I never got any birthday or Christmas gifts. Dad, you ok?_

_I have to be ok. Sydney, I never knew how to tell you this. It's not one of those things you bring up at dinner._ _It's not like I wanted to keep it from you, I just didn't how to tell you._

_It's ok, yet another slap from SD-6. So why did they do it?_

I fell in love again and I tried to get out of SD-6.

In love? With who?

My first love, my real love. Caitlin. Caitlin Marie Woodward. There was a long pause before he continued

I asked her to marry me before I left for what I thought was going to be my last mission. I didn't realize that it was the last time I'd ever see her or my family again.

Dad, you ok? How did you meet her? He had my full undivided attention. I wanted to know everything, who she was, how they met, what his family…our family was like.

Well, I met Caitlin when I was 8. She was the first girl to officially make a joke directly to my face about my ears, then proceeded to follow that up with some wise crack about my curly girl hair. Then she proceeded to play with the curls in my hair. I don't think I washed it for days after that. I was wrapped around her finger from that point on.

Anyway, she was 5. Three years younger than me. Very smart, cute, threw one hell of a punch. I remember one time my older brother Tom was teasing her about her pigtails and she punched him right in the family jewels. That was funny, a 6 year-old taking out a 20 year-old.

You have a brother?

Three and four sisters. There are eight of us. I was the "happy accident" in the family.

Are you kidding me?

Nope, I'm the youngest, 10 years younger than my youngest sister. My oldest brother Steven is 19 years older than me.

That's crazy. I bet holidays and birthday's were insane in that household.

Yeah, but my dad wasn't around much with having a career in the military.

Apparently he was home enough to produce eight Bristows'!

Yeah, apparently.

Dad, SD-6 is gone…you obviously miss your family. I'd love to meet them all.

What are we supposed to do Sydney? Knock on the front door? Hey mom, I'm home. I've thought about it a million times, especially now that you're having a baby of your own. It would be good for her to grow up with cousins.

Her? Dad?

You're having a girl, I just have a feeling.

Ok. So what if it's a boy.

I guess I'll have to teach him how to throw a football.

It's getting late Sydney and I need to be at work early tomorrow for my weekly thrashing from Chase. Feel free to go through the trunk. We can talk more tomorrow when I get home. I love you sweet heart. Jack bent down an kissed Sydney's forehead.

Nite, dad.

After dad went to bed I continued rummaging through the trunk. I was still shocked that I was "dead." I've been dead twice now. I wasn't mad at him. I couldn't be. He had lost everything to SD-6. I had to get his life back for him. That was the only way I could truly have my dad back.

As I dug deeper in the trunk I found letters from Caitlin. There where I at least a hundred of them. Dated from 1983 up until the last one May 1992. There were grade school yearbooks and high school yearbooks. I couldn't believe it, my dad was a jock and popular. He played football all through junior high and high school. A tall, skinny quarterback. He was in the drama club, president of his junior and senior class. And from the messages written in his year book very popular with the girls. What was most interesting was his senior class newsletter. He was voted the most likely to succeed in life. Voted with having the cutest smile. As I read further, he and Caitlin we voted cutest couple. Even though she was a sophomore when he was a senior. They were both a year younger than everyone else in their classes and both very much liked by their classmates.

It's 4 a.m. I really need to get to bed. I feel I know so much more about my dad. He was a real human, a person who loved everyone, had fun and people loved being around him. Not the Jack Bristow people know now. I decided that I was going to make a trip to see Chase tomorrow after she was finished hounding dad. The CIA assisted in our deaths to keep dad's cover at SD-6, it was time that they assist in giving us back our family.


	2. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I'm glad it Friday, I stayed up way too late last night. Lack of sleep, and a kicking child are not a good combination. Not to mention the morning sickness. I ran into Weiss on my way in. He's taking the lead on Vaughn's investigation. I needed a break, it was starting to get to me. Not knowing truths from lies. I really want to believe that he isn't a bad guy, but all the intel is leading us to the conclusion. Dad actually took me off the case until I have the baby. He doesn't want his granddaughter to come out mad at the world. He had a good point. Plus, I was on a new mission, one that would finally bring this family some happiness.

I made my appointment for 10:00 a.m. with Chase. Enough time so dad and I don't cross paths. I think I'm going to solicit Dixon for help on this one. Former SD-6 along with myself and dad, I think that he's a great person to have on my side. Not to mention, he needs a change of pace too. He's been on desk duty for a couple of months now. I'm sure he's as bored as I am.

_Dixon, got a minute?_

_For you, of course._

I handed him a copy of the newspaper clipping. I think his jaw hit his desk.

_Is this for real? God, SD-6 did it didn't they? Sloane. I hate that bastard!_

_Yes and yes and me too. I found this trunk with all my father's personal belongings in it from when he was younger. Apparently he wanted out, and SD-6 didn't want to let him out. So they made it look like he and I both died in that plane crash._

_Dixon, I need your help. I'm going to talk to Director Chase in a couple of hours. I'm going to see if the CIA will assist in talking to dad's family. I think it's time for the agency to fix some this for my dad. He's literally given them his life. It's time for them to give it back to him. I think he deserves some happiness for once._

_I totally agree with you Syd. Jack and I never really spoke much about personal matters. But I have the highest respect for the man. He's obviously sacrificed a lot. It makes sense how he's so shut off from personal matters. I don't know what I would have done if SD-6 would have done that to me. I think I probably would have died emotionally knowing that everyone I loved thought I was gone and that I had no one to share my life with. No one to talk to or to love what so ever._

My meeting with Chase and Dixon went really well. Director Chase was appalled that this had happened, and that it went on this long. She seemed eager to fix things. I was a bit surprised since I thought she hated my dad. Guess not. She gave Dixon and I access to dad's level 6 files only. I guess Only God gets level 10 access. I was amazed at the information in there. The missions he went on, only a few were failures, the vast majority, however, successes.

Later that night I went home to find that dad had beat me. That never happened. He was sitting in front of the fireplace reading the letters from Caitlin. He looked so sad. But what he didn't know was that very soon, he would see her in person. We chatted a bit. I told him I was exhausted and that I was going to bed and that I needed to go into work this weekend to do some paperwork. He just smiled at me and told me not to work so much. I kissed him good night and went to bed.

For two days Dixon and I put a portfolio together about Jonathan Donahue Bristow. Information that Chase was going to share with them. We worked the entire weekend on this. I think we had a pretty good overview of info for Chase.

Monday afternoon she reviewed the information. In turn she gave me a file on what she found out about dad's family.


	3. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I opened the file labeled: Bristow, Jonathan D. (Jack). The information was short and to the point. Details on all of dad's family. All of his brother's and sisters were still living. His father passed away 4 years ago from cancer and his mother just last year from pneumonia. Everything seemed good until I got to the page on Caitlin Woodward. I

Caitlin Woodward, age 52, single, DOB: September 27, 1953; Head, Neurology, Victoria Hospital, London, Ontario, Canada

Children: 2 (Twins) Jonathan Donahue Bristow, Alexis Grace Bristow; Age 12 DOB: February 18, 1993

Father: (Deceased, age 42) Jonathan Donahue Bristow 3/16/50-6/17/92

I really don't know how many times I read those last two lines. I have a brother and sister; dad has two more children that he doesn't even know about. The only thing that I could think of was that my dad was going to be getting the biggest betrayal of his life. This information was going to kill him.

I decided that I wasn't going to show him the information on his family. He would totally freak and emotionally I couldn't deal with him breaking down in front of me, maybe after I have the baby, but now my hormones were insane.

Chase and I discussed the information on both my father and his family. She had arranged a meeting with only his brothers and sisters and Caitlin. It was going to be in a CIA branch in Ontario. I'm assuming yet another division. I didn't bother to ask. At this point I really didn't care. She proceeded to tell me that she contacted each individually with both a certified letter, followed up by a phone call this morning.

Wednesday afternoon was the day. They would know the truth about dad and me. That he and I were both very much alive.

Monday afternoon dad got called to a meeting at Langley. The timing actually was very good. I just needed to figure out how I was going to get him to Canada on Wednesday evening, without him being suspicious.

On the flight to Canada, Chase instructed me that she would facilitate the meeting and I wouldn't even be in the room until everyone had a chance to review the files we put together. Dixon would be going for both moral support for me and as my former partner at SD-6. He would share limited information on the organization to give them all an idea as to what dad was involved in.

Tuesday, evening I scouted out the town. I rented a car and drove around. The city was nice. Not nearly busy as LA. I drove by dad's old high school. There were tons of people at the soccer game that was going on. Up the street was the junior high school. The school where Jonathan and Alexis went. There was a football game going on. I decided to park the car and check it out. I made sure I had my Boston Red Sox cap on and my sunglasses. I didn't want to risk being spotted by anyone. I found a seat in the bleachers up top so I could scan the crowd. People were starting to fill the tiny stands. About 15 feet below me was a man that was I almost positive to be my dad's brother Thomas. He was the closest brother in age to my dad. I believe he was about 65. He was a bit shorter than dad, his hair was totally white, and he had a bit of a belly. I double checked my surveillance photos to confirm my suspicions. Shortly after that a younger woman, with long black hair sat next to him. She couldn't have been more that 5 feet tall and a 110 pounds. Absolutely beautiful. Caitlin. For fifty-two she didn't look a day over 35. Single woman with twins, I guess I need to suck it up being that I'm only have one child. I respect this woman. It had to be tough raising two kids on her own.

Shortly after the team came on the field, I saw the jersey, "Bristow" big number 7 on the back. Another quarterback in the family. I only watched 2 quarters of the game and caught some of the half-time band before I snuck out. I bought a program to read over when I got back to the bed and breakfast. Walking out I noticed a young girl sitting with some cheerleaders talking. She had her arm in a sling. I flipped through my photos and pinned her as Alexis. She must be a cheerleader. I flipped through the program and found her picture. Sure enough she was. Injury from a back-hand-spring? I chuckled. I always wanted to be a cheerleader. But was a band geek instead.

I need to get back to the Bed and Breakfast we were staying at. It was almost 8 pm. Only 4 LA time, but I needed to collect my thoughts and call dad. His plane should be in shortly and I'm sure he's going to have a million questions as to where I am exactly.


	4. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Jack-L.A.

My plane landed early for once. I was glad to be home and anxious to talk to Sydney. I was surprised when I got home and she wasn't there. That child of mine needs to slow down. I thought I was working a lot. I wasn't home 15 minutes to find her calling me.

_Dad? Did you just get in?_

_About 15 minutes ago. When are you getting home? I was hoping to go get some Italian tonight._

_Dad, I'm not in town. Director Chase asked her to go to a conference with she and Dixon. I've been bored and figured that this was the most exciting thing I'd be doing for a while._

_Oh, well, where's the conference? Anything interesting?_

_Uh, Canada actually. It starts tomorrow afternoon. So I really can't say how interesting. Chase asked me to see if you'd want to come up later tomorrow evening. She said that she'd have the agency plane waiting for you at noon._

_Noon. I guess that shouldn't be a problem. I'll go into the office early and let Weiss know that he's in charge. That should make his day. So what exactly is this conference about again?_

_It's actually about the Patriot Act._

_Oh boy. Yes, I know all about being held without trial._

_Dad. It's information that we all should know a bit more about. Not to mention, you are the director now._

_Yippie. Can you hear my sarcasim? _

_Ok, Dad, very funny. I know how much you love management. Anyway, I guess I'll see you tomorrow evening.__ I'll pick you up at the airport. See you then. Love you!_

_Love you too Sweetheart._

Sydney-Ontario

For wanting to give my dad his family back I feel like I just stabbed him in his heart. I hope he doesn't get to angry with me when he finds out what this "conference" is really about.


End file.
